Mom Update

How do I begin? This post comes with a very heavy heart. I am overwhelmed with emotion, but feel that I should let everyone know what is going on with my mom.

We saw the doctor today and he informed us that her liver is very sick so to speak. Her bilirubin (liver function) is at a 3.5 and should be below 1.5. She has been unable to take chemo now for about 5 weeks so her tumor trackers have jumped tremendously as well. Her symptoms all show that she is in liver failure.

Her liver is just so damaged from the Cancer and the chemo it is just unable to preform its duties. She has a lot of fluid on her stomach because her liver is unable to get them. She can only eat bites at a time and she is extremely weak.

Dr. Wade told my mom that it was her choice if she would like to try chemo today in hopes that it may help a little. He informed her that it was probably a long shot though and could even speed up the process of liver failure. He let her know that she could go without chemo and not be sick or have all the other side effects that would go along with it and enjoy what time she had left. He also told her he felt that it was important for her to spend and enjoy time with her family this week. (We have a big family camping trip planned) In the end mom chose NOT to take the chemo.

It is so hard....I can't even explain what I am feeling right now. It seems like things went from good to bad in such a short time. There is still so much I want to do and share with my mom. There are also so many things I wish I could do over. This is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. Why? Why does this have to happen? I know it is selfish of me to want her to stay, but I can't help it. She is my mom, best friend and my hero. She is one of the great ones. After all is said and done....I hope to make her proud and can be half the person she is.

New Pics

Amber took pictures of My mom and her grand babies the other day and they are up on her website. Thank you so much Amber for a wonderful job as always! They all turned out great. Now picking which to order is the tricky part.

Check out the pics a www.photographicsgallery.net.

Chinese Food???

I can't believe I forgot to post this earlier...

My mother in law called a few weeks ago and asked Nick and I to go to lunch. We said yes and met her at Applebee's.

The waitress delivered Nick's plate and he looked and her and said... Pu Pu Platter.

He apparently picked up on this when we ate Chinese months ago. I laughed so hard I almost choked on my drink.

The other day Nick and I went into STL to pick up our shirts for the Susan G. Komen Race. While we were there we decided to take a little trip to Union Station. It was a beautiful day. We ate on the patio at Landry's so that Nick could watch the fish. Thank goodness we were the only people on the patio! Anyway, Nick proceeded to feed the fish all of the crackers that the waiter had so graciously delivered to him. (Probably to shut him up) He was not in a very good mood this day. After lunch we went down to the dock and bought some fish food and feed the fish a little something besides crackers. It ended up being a lot of fun. Next time I think I will make sure he has had his afternoon nap first!

Some crackers and ketchup. I sure wish they would just make ketchup a veggie.

The crazy fish that wanted Nicks crackers.

Wing Night

So after reading a few blogs, I decided that I needed to give Buffalo Wild Wings another try. I tried it once when I was pregnant and was not impressed. Well, tonight I suggested to my husband that we eat supper there. We honestly had a great meal. I LOVE the mild, teryaki, and sweet BBQ wings. I am kind of a wuss so I did not try too much of the hot stuff. (Maybe next time) Well Tracie and Amber I gave it another try and I have to say...I will go back! I am glad to don't give up on something right away, or I may have missed out on a good thing.

STL Area Flooding

Even though it is not expected to reach the Flood of 1993 stages, here are a few pictures of the Mississippi (yes I sang the song) River. Nick and I took a little tour to see just how high the river was.

Underoos

I am so proud of my son. He is not even 2 and he tells me almost every time he needs to go potty. He has been doing this ever since we bought him the seat that fits on the big potty. I thought that he would enjoy the musical potty seat, but boy was I wrong. He LOVES the big boy potty. I got a seat cover that looks like a basketball. I have a very hard time getting him off of it. I put a jar of MnM's by the sink, and when he goes potty he gets one. This has seemed to work wonders. I decided it was surely time to try out the old underoos and see how things would go. My husband thinks this is just not right and he is way to young. I on the other hand feel that if he is coming up to us and saying potty and following through, it is definitely time. What do you think?

Update II

Mom had her cysto on Tuesday, and as far as the urologist could tell the blood in her urine is caused by irritation from her newest chemo. This is good news, however, she will not be able to continue with her chemo until this is completely cleared up.

I am going to stay with Mom on Sunday and go to the doctor with her Monday. Hopefully the Dr. will be able to use another chemo for now until her problem clears up. I will keep you all updated.

I cannot express enough to all of you how thankful I am for the support we are receiving. Please keep praying for my mom. It is so hard to see her like she is right now. I know that if it weren't for prayer she may not even be here right now. Thank you again...you have no idea what it means to read your comments and encouraging words.

Mom Update

I wanted to take the time to update everyone on my mom. She went to see Dr. Wade on Monday. She told him that she almost felt like she needed to be in the hospital because she just didn't feel well. This is when I knew my mom was sick. She DOES NOT want to be in the hospital no matter what. When he checked her blood results her white blood cells and hemoglobin were extremely low. Her bilirubin was also high again. He thought it was best for her to be admitted and have a blood transfusion.

RECAP:
Mom has not been able to take her chemo that has been working for three weeks now. This is due to the fact that she has blood in her urine. When they did a Urinalysis they discovered that she had an Ecoli bladder infection. Because the new chemo can cause severe bleeding she would be unable to take it until the infection and blood was completely cleared up. (this is the chemo that has actually been working).

Back to Monday....Mom still has blood in her urine even though the infection is gone. Dr. Wade suggested they do a Cystocopy to explore her bladder. This will let us know if the new chemo has been irritating her bladder or if she has a polyp there. (pray it is not the latter).

On Monday night mom received two blood transfusions. Her hemoglobin went up, but her wbc went down to 1.8 which is very low. She is on neutropenic isolation (we all have to wear masks to keep from giving her any bugs) until the counts go up. She will have the cysto today sometime to see what may be causing her bleeding. Please pray that they find it is only irritation.

This is really all I know now, but I will try to keep you all updated.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Fathers Day to all the Dad's out there. Hope you all have a special Day. It takes such a special person to be a dad. I have to say my husband is one of the best. I hope Nick grows up to be half the man he is.

Summer Vacation is Over

Its official...My summer vacation ended at 8:30 am. I started my very first Nursing Class. I am taking Clinical Calculations. I could have tested out of the class, but chose not to. I thought it would be a great refresher and why wouldn't you take the class (unless you are an LPN) to learn about all the meds?

Jess and I got to class about 20 minutes early. We drank our coffee and waited for our instructor to arrive. When she arrived and introduced herself we figured out she will be one of the easier instructors, but we should not get used to it.

We were breezin through class fine when all of a sudden I felt like I was going to get sick. I did not want to leave in the middle of class, so I tried to hold back...I couldn't. I had to leave. I got sick on my first day of Nursing school. Not just once, but twice. I don't normally get sick so I guess I have to chalk it up to too many cups of coffee, no breakfast, the stress of starting a new class and whatever else may have been on my mind.

And no I am NOT pregnant!

Hopefully Thursday will go a little smoother.

PaPa Frenchie's Big Truck

Nick is crazy about trucks right now. He is especially crazy about "Big Trucks". My Step dad (not father in law, as I referred to him in previous posts) drives a semi. He took Nick on a surprise visit to experience a "Big Truck" first hand. He drove him around the parking lot a few times, let him honk the horn, and even let him jabber on the CB. Nick has not quit talking about "Papa Finchy bid twuck" since we left Effingham. Thank you Mike for a great surprise!

PaPa Frenchie

Happy Birthday Xander

On Sunday, Nick and I went to Effingham to celebrate Xander's 9th birthday. He had a baseball party. It was a lot of fun. I did not take very many pictures because we were all to busy playing baseball!

Happy Birthday Xander!!

Hope you had a wonderful day.

Friday Afternoon Fieldtrip

My friend Jessica invited Nick and I to join her and her twin daughters, (Maya and Finnely) to go to Cahokia Mounds on Friday for a field trip. Her cousin is an archaeologist and is excavating part of the area. We were able to watch the dig, and they even let the kids sift through dirt in hopes of finding and ancient Indian artifact. After all of the excitement on the excavation site we took the kids up Monk's Mound. It is one of the many mounds in the area. They all three climbed to the very top without any help at all. Needless to say they all slept very well on Friday night.

Running through one of the walls that used to protect the village.

The excavation site.

Remnants of a former wall.

Digging for artifacts.

Helping carry dirt to the sifter.

This is actually the last leg of Monk's Mound.

Before the hike up the mound.

Half-way there!

A view from the top.

Reggies Shadow II

Time for Underoos?

Lately when I put Nick to bed he has been ripping his diaper off and sleeping in the buff. I have realized I now have to make sure he has pants on when we put him down for a nap.

Reggies Shadow

Nick is putting words into sentences, working very hard on potty training, and just amazes me each and every day with the new things he shows me.

In the last couple of days however, I have noticed something very different about Nick. When he kisses us he sticks out his tongue. He licks our arms and legs, the coffee table and just about anything else he can reach. I started to wonder just what he was seeing to be constantly licking everything....

Then it occurred to me! Nick watches Reggie lick everything and so he is playing Reggie's shadow. I have even caught Nick trying to lick water out of Reggie's bowl. Oh my. Whats a mom to do with a part boy, part dog?

Hopefully this phase will pass just like the others. I fear I may have a copy of the little boy from the Christmas Story soon when supper time rolls around.

My Weekend

This weekend my mom and step dad came for a visit. Ryan invited Mike to a ballgame on Friday night and they were coming over for a game on Sunday anyway so they decided to make a weekend of it. I was so glad to be able to catch up with my mom and spend time with her.

She watched Nick for a few hours while I worked and the boys went to the game. She is worn out so much she normally doesn't feel up to keeping him, but Friday night she did. When I got home Nick was still awake and Mom and I read him bedtime stories and then put him to bed. We then got to share a little mother/daughter time together. It was really great having her around. I could tell she was really worn out though.

My mom does not sleep very much because of the chemo she is on. I am sure the stress that goes along with the disease doesn't help much either. I try to take it easy on her when she is her, but she is determined not to give in to her cancer and she tries to do as much as she can.

On Saturday we went shopping most of the day. We were out and about by 6:30 am. Mom was hungry and couldn't sleep so we woke up little man and made our way to the Waffle house in Collinsville. Then we went to Sam's and the mall. By this time you could tell it was time for mom to go home and take a nap. She is really good about riding around in the little rascals when we go out so she doesn't get worn out too quick. I laugh at her cruising around honking her horn like an old lady, but I am glad she is not too proud to use them when she knows she needs it. Plus Nick enjoyed riding as well.

We ate at Texas Roadhouse for supper and came home to watch National Treasure II. (Great Flick) I think we were all worn out by this time.

On Sunday I made french toast and spent some more quality time with mom. They left for the game and I have to admit I felt kind of empty. I miss my mom so much and it is really hard living so far away from her when I know she needs me the most. I am very blessed that I have a Step Dad who loves my mom as much as he does. He takes such good care of her. I also have a great family who is there for my mom whenever she may need them.

I sometimes feel bad when I look at my mom when she leaves my house after a long weekend. When I look in her eyes I can see how exhausted she is and wish we hadn't done so much. She always reassures me we did what she wanted to do.

I know that we don't all live forever, but I keep asking myself why? Why my mom? I fight a battle weekly with finding a church I can go to, but I am torn about who I am. I was born and am currently catholic, but am not sure where I want to go with my faith. I do know that faith is important to me and I want Nick to know about God. I am ready for him to lead me in the right direction. I am ready to find a full time church!

Uncle David and Aunt Judy

Oh boy am I behind on posting this picture. I promised the Brydens I would put it on my blog. Aunt Judy and Uncle David absolutely adore Nick. I think they spoil him about as much as another grandma and grandpa. They came to visit a while back and here is a picture of them with Nick.

Looks kinda like Reggie is a psycho dog doesn't it?!