Mom Update

How do I begin? This post comes with a very heavy heart. I am overwhelmed with emotion, but feel that I should let everyone know what is going on with my mom.

We saw the doctor today and he informed us that her liver is very sick so to speak. Her bilirubin (liver function) is at a 3.5 and should be below 1.5. She has been unable to take chemo now for about 5 weeks so her tumor trackers have jumped tremendously as well. Her symptoms all show that she is in liver failure.

Her liver is just so damaged from the Cancer and the chemo it is just unable to preform its duties. She has a lot of fluid on her stomach because her liver is unable to get them. She can only eat bites at a time and she is extremely weak.

Dr. Wade told my mom that it was her choice if she would like to try chemo today in hopes that it may help a little. He informed her that it was probably a long shot though and could even speed up the process of liver failure. He let her know that she could go without chemo and not be sick or have all the other side effects that would go along with it and enjoy what time she had left. He also told her he felt that it was important for her to spend and enjoy time with her family this week. (We have a big family camping trip planned) In the end mom chose NOT to take the chemo.

It is so hard....I can't even explain what I am feeling right now. It seems like things went from good to bad in such a short time. There is still so much I want to do and share with my mom. There are also so many things I wish I could do over. This is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. Why? Why does this have to happen? I know it is selfish of me to want her to stay, but I can't help it. She is my mom, best friend and my hero. She is one of the great ones. After all is said and done....I hope to make her proud and can be half the person she is.