Trip to the ER

This is Nick. Accident prone Nick. Poor guy gets it honestly from his mommy. Yesterday while I was cleaning the house this happened. I walked around the corner from the kitchen to the living room. Noggin is on, but a little boy is missing. As I scan the floor I find a trail.....dirty pull up....pants.....socks.......shoes. I follow the trail to find Nick on the potty. Little man got himself on the potty and was in the process of finishing up i suppose, although by the looks of the diaper there was not much left to finish. Anyway...I congratulate him on being such a big boy but remind him he needs to go before he does so in his pants. He asks me to please leave the bathroom. (Guess he needs his privacy too) As he is waving me off he leans too far forward and takes a face plant to our ceramic tile. As I pick him up blood begins pouring out of his mouth. I inspect it but cant see much. Well off to the ER we went just in case. I was mostly concerned with his two front teeth because they would not quit bleeding. Well needless to say all is well and we escaped the ER once again with no stitches or missing teeth. Very lucky we are!

Well it is officially Thanksgiving and I should be in bed. However I cannot sleep. So many thoughts are running through my mind right now. So many thoughts about how it used to be. I feel like I am so empty inside. Like something is truly missing from my life. Thanksgiving and Christmas are two of my all time favorite times of the year. Family, friends, turkey...that's what I should be focusing on. I can't though. I continue to remind myself that my best friend is no longer here. My mom will never be here again to share with me the memories that should be made. I tried all day to keep myself busy, to forget about the memory of my mother. To forget about what it is going to be like to celebrate this holiday without her there. I just cannot forget. I miss her voice. I miss calling her to tell her the silly things that happened throughout the day. People tell me to just talk to her, but I can't. I want to physically talk to her. I want her to answer me back. It is not that I don't believe that she can hear me or even that she is near, but it is not the same at all. Christmas and Thanksgiving were my mothers all time favorite holidays and without her here it is just not the same. I don't even want to put up a tree but I know that I need to be strong for Nick. I just don't know how to pull myself together.

Mama:

I miss you more than you could ever know. I miss that when I wake up tomorrow I will not have a voicemail from you. One that says..."good morning beautiful. I just wanted to be the first to tell you Happy Thanksgiving. Make sure you kiss my little sweetpea for me."

I need your strength now more than ever.

Manda

I am sorry to be such a downer on a time that should be so joyful, but sometimes this is the only way for me to get things out and release the sorrow that I feel. I miss my mom so much. Please pray that I make it through this day and become a stronger person because of it.

To Jack....

Congratulations Jack on your new little brother. Take good care of him. I hope you aren't too disappointed that his name is not Chuck, Chuck. I personally think Harrision is a fantastic name!

Turkey Day Cookies...Created by Nick!

Nick and I made these cookies today for tomorrows big feast. His daycare instructor sent home the instructions and I just had to try it. It was so much fun. Gobble, Gobble and a Happy Turkey day to all!

Happy Anniversary...

Today is my two year anniversary. I just want to wish my husband a wonderful day. He is taking me to the Bears/Rams game on Sunday to celebrate. We got a room in the same hotel that the Bears will be staying in. I am soooo excited. We are going down on Saturday to stay and go out to eat somewhere...Hopefully Edmonds 15. I would love to eat sushi, but my husband will not go for that. Anyway I hope you have a fantastic day today Ryan...and here is to many, many more.

I Love You!

Daycare: Day Three

Today was day three of Nicks new daycare. He went to bed quite early last night. I think it is starting to wear him out being at school for most of the day. Well when he goes to bed early he tends to get up early. So we decided to start out the day with a little snuggle time in bed while watching Noggin and eating powdered donuts. (Although he did ask for matawoni and cheese again) I got his bath ready after breakfast in bed and then proceeded to get him ready. I fixed his hair and of course he asked for a "splash of cologne". Gotta smell like daddy. Now Ryan absolutely hates it when I give Nick the Mohawk. I on the other hand love it. (see pics below) Everything was great, except the weather. We pulled into the parking lot and little man asked where all his people were. I told him they were already in class. He asked me if we could please say hi to the three little fish fish by the front door and of course I told him that was a great idea. We buzzed ourselves in and he walked to say hello to his aquatic friends. We then proceeded down the hall to the "Cookie Monsters" room. When we walked in he was fine. I signed his name on the sign in sheet and told him how much I loved him and that I would see him at Mommy time.(4pm) As I was trying to let him down I felt the all to familiar clench of little hands around my arm. Then came the tears. OH NO! Please not again. Miss Jenny took Nick and reassured him I would be back before he knew it and that it was time for music. Side note: everyone commented on how much they LOVED his hair! Music was not enough. My little man cried for me. I had to turn around and leave. The funny thing is though that I do not get that little sick to my stomach feeling when I leave him in the hands of Miss Jenny like I did at the other place. I called a few minutes ago and they assured me he was much better...eating, playing, and interacting with all the other kids.I just hope this time he starts to adjust better. They suggested that maybe we bump him up to 5 days vs 3 in order to get him into more of a routine....any suggestions? Oh and what do you think about the hair?

Breakfast conversation follow up!

matawoni and cheese with a side of eggs

Looks yummy......
Dats dood Mommy!

Breakfast conversation

Mommy: Nick Nick what would you like for breakfast?

Nick: I would like matawoni and cheese

Daddy: You cant have macaroni and cheese for breakfast. How bout eggs?

Nick: I would like matawoni and eggs.

Mommy: With cheese?

Nick: Yes pweese mommy.

Daddy: How bout just eggs?

Nick: Matawoni and eggs.

Mommy: You can have what ever you want for breakfast.

Needless to say he had macaroni and cheese with a side of eggs for breakfast. At least he got part of his dairy consumption for the day.....

Just a few random pics I found on my camera.

Halloween was HOW long ago?

Here are a few pics of Nick in his Halloween costume. In case you can't tell he is the cutest pirate ever!

New locker, new friends, new daycare

After many days of Nick screaming and yelling before we even got into the car to go to school and the all expected leg clench that absolutely broke my heart, we have found a new daycare. Something about Nick's old daycare just rubbed both Ryan and I the wrong way. After well over a month it seems like Nick really should have been becoming comfortable with his school. I am not sure what happened there, but he was not happy there at all.

He is now enrolled in St. Henry's Creative Learning Center. We took him a few times to meet the staff and other children and he was a completely different child. He did not cry when Ryan and I walked away from him. He interacted with the other children. He even told us yesterday when we went that we Mommy and Daddy could go home and leave him there.

It really makes me feel guilty for leaving him in the other school so long before taking him out. I just dropped him off at the other school and it was so much easier. He seemed to just seem more comfortable. I really hope this works out.

Still Here

I'm still around I promise. I am finally quit my job on Saturday so along with more time to study I should have more time to post. I miss all of you desperately! Hope to post something fun soon!