My Weekend

This weekend my mom and step dad came for a visit. Ryan invited Mike to a ballgame on Friday night and they were coming over for a game on Sunday anyway so they decided to make a weekend of it. I was so glad to be able to catch up with my mom and spend time with her.

She watched Nick for a few hours while I worked and the boys went to the game. She is worn out so much she normally doesn't feel up to keeping him, but Friday night she did. When I got home Nick was still awake and Mom and I read him bedtime stories and then put him to bed. We then got to share a little mother/daughter time together. It was really great having her around. I could tell she was really worn out though.

My mom does not sleep very much because of the chemo she is on. I am sure the stress that goes along with the disease doesn't help much either. I try to take it easy on her when she is her, but she is determined not to give in to her cancer and she tries to do as much as she can.

On Saturday we went shopping most of the day. We were out and about by 6:30 am. Mom was hungry and couldn't sleep so we woke up little man and made our way to the Waffle house in Collinsville. Then we went to Sam's and the mall. By this time you could tell it was time for mom to go home and take a nap. She is really good about riding around in the little rascals when we go out so she doesn't get worn out too quick. I laugh at her cruising around honking her horn like an old lady, but I am glad she is not too proud to use them when she knows she needs it. Plus Nick enjoyed riding as well.

We ate at Texas Roadhouse for supper and came home to watch National Treasure II. (Great Flick) I think we were all worn out by this time.

On Sunday I made french toast and spent some more quality time with mom. They left for the game and I have to admit I felt kind of empty. I miss my mom so much and it is really hard living so far away from her when I know she needs me the most. I am very blessed that I have a Step Dad who loves my mom as much as he does. He takes such good care of her. I also have a great family who is there for my mom whenever she may need them.

I sometimes feel bad when I look at my mom when she leaves my house after a long weekend. When I look in her eyes I can see how exhausted she is and wish we hadn't done so much. She always reassures me we did what she wanted to do.

I know that we don't all live forever, but I keep asking myself why? Why my mom? I fight a battle weekly with finding a church I can go to, but I am torn about who I am. I was born and am currently catholic, but am not sure where I want to go with my faith. I do know that faith is important to me and I want Nick to know about God. I am ready for him to lead me in the right direction. I am ready to find a full time church!