Dear Santa.....

If this doesn't bring a tear to your eye, then there is something wrong with you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did each time I received it through my email. Very Sweet!!



Dear Santa,

Ive been a good mom all year I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,MOM...

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Name this movie....

Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Isn't this why we have kids?????

My mom used to make me do chores when I was younger and I hated it. She used to tell me that's what kids are for. For some reason Nick is obsessed with helping me clean up. I could seriously turn on the ole dust buster and I would never need a babysitter. He loves to play with it and I get a clean floor. What a trade off!

My Future's So Bright.......

Nick seriously got these glasses at his baby shower. He is just now to the point where he will keep them on. Now that he knows that they are fun he likes to wear them around the house.

Good Cookies!!!!!

Nick helped me make sugar cookies the other day and I could not help but to let him sample the finished product. Needless to say there was more icing on him than on the cookies. I am not sure how that happens, but let me tell you it did.

I am sure Grandma Linda almost fell off her chair when she saw that I actually gave him sweets. I am not to into giving him candy or cookies. I guess one little cookie won't hurt...Right?

A Little Christmas Cheer

A Shout Out to Glitzy Girlz

For those of you who love purses, there is a website you need to check out. I have a friend in Newton who started a purse and jewelry business along with a few other women. I ordered a purse from them last week and have already received it. I LOVE it. You can see the picture at the bottom of this posting. They have a huge variety of purses, wallets and even jewelry. Check it out at www.glitzygirlz.blogspot.com. I promise you wont be disappointed. Keep bringing the purses girlz!!! I have this wallet on my wish list.

My new purse!!!!